Lately life and seems blahh. Now I am sure that going to the doctors physically stresses me out. I feel rather ill just with the thought of it. I feel completely hopeless and I'm actually getting sick of this trail and error treatment plan I have. I just wish the doctors could see how much it messes with my life. That trial and error (which seems like) is nottt ok, I need answers! I deserve answers! Not being misdiagnoised and dragged all around. Ever since my dose is doubled I spend most days waking up to feeling as if I'm completely beyond hung over. The room spins, any which movement makes me want to vomit its just awful. I've been living off of my pain pills lately and stomach pills. I'm hoping this will help ease those nasty effects. More then ever I am completely tired. By 10 at night I want to be asleep now.(and thats even after napping threw out the day). I've also noticed since my dose increased now I have the mouth sores once again. Which is still embarrassing enough to say. My body just aches and feels so warn down I feel just awful.
And if things couldn't seem any worse people who I thought understood this new life change of mine and who supported me are now doing the reverse and making me feel guilty about stuff.
It just hurts to even personally open up to someone and actually talk about this instead of saying yeah I'm sick, thats a hugeeee step for me. And then for them to be completely blind and believe I'm creating excuses so I don't hang out with them just crushes me. I need people to talk to and support more then ever not drama. It's just upsetting and kinda makes me feel more out of place. I don't even know how to explain it correctly.
So over all things have been hanging in there. No fast answer still or results. I'm just trying my best possible to wake up ever morning (actually getting dressed), smile (even when i don't mean it), and try my best to feeling normal like everyone else around me. I'm just trying to have some sort of hope. Oh well...well I'm going to take a nap for a bit. Like I said these meds makes me sooooo tired.
<3
I swear stuff you say comes right from my own thoughts sometimes! I am more than 2 years since diagnosis and I still feel out of place amongst people. And I hate when they get all dramatic when they hear the word cancer. It makes me uncomfortable. I let myself stay home for the morning and nap because I was so tired. Apparently my thyroid is out of whack now. I will know more tomorrow. Deep breaths..we will get through this!!
Oh no. I just had a thyroid scare a few weeks ago.
Please keep me update on how your doing.
But I do the same thing I swear when I read yours
I'm like wow I was just thinking that! We're strong
girlies like you said we WILL get threw this.