But today was just a mess. Like most days I feel sick the moment I wake up. I was completely tired all day which I'm sadly starting to get use to, but my body has been literally freaking out on me lately. The best way to describe how it is acting is the way your body reacts to low sugar or not eating. The odd part is I've been putting an honest effort into food this week. I felt the same way last week but just starting the treatment and being so sick I just assumed well its cause I'm barely eating and what not. 

The strangest part is once I start going threw one of these episodes I drink gatoraid right away with a piece of chocolate/ sugar and this is picking my body up. Not to mention I am constantly eating small amounts of food, so it isn't like I am hungry.But shortly after about an hour or so I'm back to the same way. I feel like I'm spinning, very light headed, feeling like my hands are weightless. I experienced this for the past few days and today has been the worse. 

So with that going on my stomach decided to start acting up again. The smell of food is enough to make my stomach sore at times and of course go figure it had to do this today as it was with me being sick and not to mention in school. 

I tried my best to stay in school as long as I could. I had every intent of being there since I am paying crazy amounts of money for it, but once I smelt the food and started wanting to throw up enough was enough I had to go home. 

So now I'm resting in bed well trying to rest and feel better. I just keep finding myself so frustrated with this whole being sick mess and it just feels like out of all the people around me no one can relate or at times even try to relate to me. I also think the word sorry is one of the most over rated words in the world. I'm sick to death of hearing someone say sorry when in reality they have nothing else to say to me. It just makes me feel even more alone. Its hard to find anyone who can relate to how I'm feeling. I don't know like I stated in past entries this whole thing just makes me all around feel upset and sad and I absolutely hate it. So I've had better days I'm just verryyyyy nervous about tomorrows treatment and how much more sick I'm going to be already on top of this. ='/