How much of worrying is healthy, how much is unhealthy and how much is to much? All my life I have been a worrier and I feel that will never change, its how I've always been. I just hate when the most common thing I tell people when they ask me for advice is, "don't worry about what you can't change or whats out of your hands". I am officially the worlds biggest hippocrate! All I find myself doing is thinking and worrying. But then I look on the reverse side of it and I get were people would want me to just let things happen and try to relax. Its just being sick consumes my life. Its first priority in all my days. It decides what I do and when I do things. Its the mood I'll wear that day or how long my day will even end up lasting. I know that I could worry myself crazy thinking of all the what ifs. Thats not what I'm focused on, its more worrying how to get threw each day and act to the outside world that I'm actually normal like anyone else out there. I just keep having this constant fear with my blood levels so messed up that I'm going to collapse or it will happen when I'm driving. Over all I think I hold a lot in. I find everyday life harder then ever. I know I must drive the people around me nuts but I just want to feel safe again I guess and find that hope that I once knew and thrived on to keep me going. Tomorrow I get my test results on my blood work back. I'm not to stressed about them, I'm already sick what more could possible happen...I probably should say that. All I can do is hope and pray everything comes back clean. Now its about time for me to get some rest.