Today was just an odd day. I have been having a non stop fever for the past few days now. It is getting very disgusting. Not to mention I've been getting crazy nasty mouth sores from the chemo also. On top of all that I think I picked up a good ol' cold. Lets just hope its not the flu. My ears have so much pressure in them and my throat is killing me to swollow. I'm just so sick and tired of being sick it completely drains me. I ended up leaving school early again...blah.
I'm starting to find it really hard keeping up and staying up with all my school work. This chemo is truly making my life awful. I just don't feel like myself anymore its akward and hard to explain. I just feel stupid even talking about this and the people around me having nothing left to say to me so I guess its time I just move on with this blog.
Today I found out some awful news about Annie Hawkes. A beautiful girl who was close to my cousin, that was involved with a serious car accident last Thursday. She was fighter threw the worse of it. I was told last night they said she wasn't even going to make it threw the night, but she did. But this evening I regret to even say that she passed away. Leaving signs of her passing with her loved ones. I never knew Annie personally but from the moment I heard about her life and how amazing of a person she was and what had happened. It seemed all I was able to think about. How someone so young and caring could suddenly pass due to something this awful scares me. My heart goes out to Annies family and friends. I can not even come close to knowing what something like this would feel like. My heart also goes out to my cousin Steph who has been threw alot these past two months. Losing two people who met the world to her. I look up to her for strength in my hard times. I don't know how she does it. But its amazing that she doesnt let life consume her and that she still has faith. I really wish I was strong enough like that.
I mentioned earlier that Annie left signs of her passing. This song was one of the signs Annie had left. It makes me believe that she was to good for this cold world and this song almost reassures that. All making sense. It is called "Goodnight" by Zox.
I have never heard this song before but it has turned my whole way of thinking around and now I'm obsessed with it. The most powerful lyric in there is "You have to leave the ground to learn to fly" I just love the reality behind it.
Well that is all for now. I don't think I have anything left to say worth sharing.
I'm sorry to hear about Annie =( A friend of mine from college also had a friend pass away a couple months ago, she was hit by a truck accidently. So awful.
Mouth sores make me MISERABLE. Since they lowered my dose they aren't as bad, my tongue and mouth just get sensitive and I can't eat anything hot or too minty or it makes my eyes water and hurts. When mine were at their worst I consisted on plain pasta with a little butter and cheese, and popsicles. I would also eat frozen fruit, like the kind in the grocery store in the frozen food section. They also told me to keep swishing my mouth with baking soda in water, helps keep your mouth from becoming too acidic and helps the sores heal I guess. You can do this chicky I'm right with ya. I had a nausea attack last week and threw up out of no where. gross. Let me know if ya ever want any weird tips...I have learned little things that help me along the way. As for school...have you ever considered part-timing? I did for a year. School will always be there, but your health comes first.
<3 Linds